What is my favourite drink?

Nothing beats a good cup of tea which is allowed to steep for at least 3 minutes.

What is my favourite food?

Jam Donuts – the kind you drink. (If you know what I am talking about then we could possibly be best friends.)

Why am I doing stand up?

During labour, I made a pact with myself that if I survived the birth and was able to walk again, then surely stand up would be cinch. Afterall they both have the ability to leave you in stitches.

Do I have any pets?

Yes – 2 kids and 1 hubby. The good news is that they walk themselves. The bad news is I can't put them out at night.

Hate?

Kirsty Alley – how cocky is she now that she's lost the equivalent to a 6 year old? I much prefer the triple-chinned, depressed, fat chick who was publicity shy. Get her off TV.

Describe myself in 3 words:

Addicted to chocolate

What talent do I wish I had?

Being able to talk fluently with a mouth full of food

What would I never do again?

Never say never!

What do I always have in pockets?

Lollies – never underestimate the power of the lolly to gain control your kids. There is nothing wrong with bribery.

Whose poster did I have on my wall when I was growing up?

George Michael. In those days, gay meant happy ... how was I supposed to know?

What was your best subject at school?

Home Economics - how can you learn without food?